How to Build Your Confidence as a Woman (5 Subtle Changes to Help You Go from Zero to Hero)

Written by Nan Nan Liu | Researched by H. Hexus | Strong Female Leaders

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Searching for the secret to living a joyful, successful life?
You have come to the right place. Our post won't cover everything you need to know, but points you in the right direction. As a woman, your confidence is one of the most important factors that decides whether you are a follower or a leader. It is the driving force that helps you achieve your best in career, relationships, and overall health and happiness.

Even with amazing talent and prestigious education, you won't get far unless you have the confidence to take action and reach for the impossible.

So, really, what is confidence?
In our opinion, confidence is the deep-rooted belief that you can handle almost any challenge that comes your way. It is accepting yourself for who you are, including your failures and faults. It is getting up after falling down, and never giving up.

We believe that confidence lives in the smile that you wear everyday, in the firm hand shake that your give to your co-workers, in the conviction you exude when you speak up for what you believe in, in the way that you look people in the eye when you speak, in the kindness that you emanate when you help someone, in the encouragement you give to others, and most of all, in the positivity that permeates your own thoughts and self talk.

And how do you build confidence?
Well, surely, it can't be built in one day. To build confidence, genuine, personal-powered confidence that is, requires everyday training and lifelong dedication. Each person needs a different set of methods and exercises. Certainly, we cannot provide all the tools that you need. We can, however, start you with the top five changes that you can make to boost your confidence today:

  • Get to Know Yourself
  • Set Short- and Long-Term Goals
  • Act as If You Already Have Unbreakable Confidence
  • Help Others Improve Their Confidence
  • Create and Enforce Boundaries

  • 1. Get to Know Yourself
    Before jumping into the process of confidence building, you may want to take a step back and get to know yourself first. Your internal conflicts often result from not knowing who you are and what you stand for. Before putting yourself out there, please take time to consider your strengths and weaknesses, things that are important to you, your purpose in life, your views, and the impact you want to make in the world around you.
    Is your mission in life to be a good example for your children? To fight for women's rights? To be a leader in your industry?
    Whatever you stand for, know them, note them, and memorize them. You may even want to create a list that you can visit everyday.

    As an example, I keep a list called "Personal Credo" and post them on my bathroom mirror. This way, each morning and night, when I brush my teeth, I receive a visual reminder of what I stand for, absorbing slight, daily increments to my personal power.

    Whatever method you choose to boost your personal power with, be it journaling everyday, social media posts, or just a quick mental note, when you do that, you will be more grounded, see your path clearer, and make better decisions. You will find that when you face difficult forks in the road, you can stand behind your choices with certainty.

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    2. Set Short- and Long-Term Goals
    Now let's set short- and long-term goals, by creating a list of your weaknesses. Then, separate the list into ones you can change and ones you can't change. Now, focus on the list that you can improve on. For example, if you feel displeased with how nervous you look when giving presentations, then make a long-term goal to become a more fluent speaker, and set the deadline to six months from now.

    Next, break the long-term goal into several short-term goals, with weekly or bi-weekly deadlines. For example, signing up for a public speaking class or hiring a speech coach, by the end of the week. Or, start a YouTube channel by this weekend, and contribute one 10-minute video every Sunday night for six months, teaching your audience about a subject of your expertise.

    Last but not least, don't forget to reward yourself for each short-term goal you reach. Doing so gives you the motivation you need to achieve even harder goals, gently pushing you outside your comfort zone.

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    3. Act as If You Already Have Unbreakable Confidence
    What will you if you had all the confidence in the world? Will you finally quit your job and start your own company? Will you take that programming class that sounds both interesting and terrifying? Will you ask that cute guy who sits on the same floor to coffee?

    Do you see the issue here? It's the word "will." It's as if all these wonderful things can only happen in the future. Such a mindset sets you up for failure by re-enforcing the false belief that you are not good enough, as you are, right now. So, you don't take action.

    YET! Even if you do fail at starting your own company, or flunk that programming class, or get a harsh rejection from that cute guy, you have more confidence than before. Because, you are not sitting on the sidelines as life passes by.
    Taking action is confidence!
    So stand tall, speak your mind, and get out there and get what you want. Focus on the process, not your feelings, and turn your fears into excitement.

    Please realize that you already have extraordinary confidence inside of you. You just need to set it free.


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    4. Help Others Improve Their Confidence
    Women thrive on being in a community, especially a community of positive people. Women enjoy helping and making others happy. To build your own confidence, you must build it in others too. When you go out of your way to help a neighbor, volunteer to mentor a co-worker, recommend a good book to an interested party, or even if you just compliment a stranger, you are boosting confidence in others, as well as in yourself.

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    5. Create and Enforce Boundaries
    Now that you are helping others and contributing value to your communities, you must create and enforce your boundaries. Both your emotional and physical resources are limited. Without clear boundaries, you will easily let people walk all over you, therefore depleting your energy, and your confidence.

    When you do give to others, set boundaries early. For example, if you do volunteer to mentor a new hire, set the deadline to six months from now, and also a 1-hour Q&A session each week. This allows you enough time to spend with your mentee, and also protects your own schedule.

    Remember that your time is as sacred as anyone else's, even those who have fancier titles than you. If you feel that someone is violating your time, enforce a boundary right away. Doing so can save a lot of headache, and even your relationship with him or her.

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    Final Thoughts
    Like our tips?
    Putting them into action is certainly our next recommendation. Your success is the sum of the choices you make in life. Having complete and utter confidence when you make those choices, then, decides whether you are able to take the next big risk, or fold your cards and settle for comfort.

    Great leaders put themselves out there. They fail, they learn, and they get right back up.

    If they can do it, so can you.
    [ End of Post ]

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